Guest Post: My Daily Routine


As with every other morning today I was rudely awaken by the child screaming in the flat below, I don't know how it doesn't wake everyone else in this household but the minute I hear that shrill creature so much as murmur I'm up. As usual I tentatively creep into the kitchen in the hope that some form of continental dish has been left for me but once again no, my flat acquaintances have left last night's food remainders. The swines. Today I showed them who's boss, today I got my own back by sneaking some underwear out of the bedroom and relieving myself on it. I know I can get away with it and I'll continue to terrorise them in this way until I get the cooked hams I deserve.

After deliberately not washing my hands I decided it was time to wake up the swines by waving them under their noses, this worked but I'm always inexplicably rewarded with a "cuddle". I hate cuddles and can usually struggle my way out of them after drawing blood. After hearing some explicit words I had myself some quiet time as I gazed out of the window at my kingdom, I like seeing the beasts below me wander in and out of my land but like many great leaders before me I'm unapproachable. Oh well. I didn't dwell on this as I snuggled up with Sharpay, I'm her ginger lothario.


35 comments

  1. Lmao! I looooved this. Very nice :) xxx

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  2. Cats really do call people swines. I just know mine has been plotting my demise for years! Aside: i love this post and am going to start a facebook group dedicated just to your cat.

    Dannii xx

    madamesquirrel.blogspot.co.uk

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  3. Ahahaha...this post is brilliant! He looks like the sort of cat who would call you a swine, but get away with it as he is utterly gorge.
    I love the head tilt picture, it's like he is questioning your need to photograph him...hahaha!

    Fliss x
    http://theoffbeatgirl.blogspot.co.uk/

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  4. Epic. Must post Monty's routine in the not so distant.

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  5. Great post! It's tough being a cat isn't it :) mine is the exact same trying to avoid cuddles! x

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  6. It took me until the part of reliving yourself to realise its about the cat. Thank god aha! This post made me laugh so much! x

    {Satin&Souffles}

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  7. He is such a cutie! I think I'll come back as a cat, sleeping all day then eating whenever you please? Sounds like the life to me

    Lou xx
    Bits & Bobs

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  8. omg hahaha this is one of the best/funniest posts i've read in ages!!! haha! xo

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  9. THIS POST IS DIVINE.


    Your cat has a HSM blanket. Niiice. My house rabbit has a Hannah Montana blanket. What is it with these animals and their love for Disney brats?

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  10. Haha this is so funny! One of my cats thinks in exactly the same way!
    x

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  11. hahah LOVE the guest post!!! adorable kitty

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  12. 'I snuggled up with Sharpay, I'm her ginger lothario.' Just spat my tea out hahaha xxx

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  13. your cat is so cute:) great post, haha! x

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  14. this is hilarious. I love your cat, he is very very cute. The bit with poor Sharpay.. ahh comedy. xx

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  15. Hahaha I nearly choked on my squash reading this! Brilliant :) xx

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  16. your pussy is a prolific prose writer

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  17. :D great pictures!
    Enter my Romwe Giveaway! ♥

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  18. I love this! Mainly because it makes a lot more sense than you reliving yourself on someone's underwear!

    Drea @ Drea's Junkyard

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  19. Hahaha, that was hilarious! Your cat is the King ;)
    xx

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  20. Gosh such a cutie! love this xxx

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  21. Oh this is far too adorable! :) S.x x www.theraspberrybranch.blogspot.com

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  22. He he! My cat weed on the floor last night.....for no particular reason that I can see. Thanks for your comment on my blog - always super exciting for me to know someone is reading! I wholeheartedly endorse that book....
    Becky xx
    http://www.doingitinstyle.blogspot.com

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  23. Ha this post made me laugh, so cute :) xx

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  24. Love the Sharpay towel! :p She was always my favourite :) x

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  25. Aw, cute.

    Love the cardigan color in your previous post.

    http://myminibag.blogspot.com

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  27. Awh he's lovely :) I wake up with a cat on my pillow at the moment, as my parents are away! x

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